From the Dark Waters

 

How I came to stand by the dark waters of Llyn Idwal, I do not know
a lost mind wandering, a broken soul
led along mapless paths, irresistibly drawn upwards to this lightless hole
to try and conquer Y Wydffa and start afresh again
but she was not mine to claim

And so here, hemmed by Idwals Cwm
hard rock and corried rim
overhead a Raven in languid and mocking flight
surrounded fissured cliffs deny respite
follies made, forever contrite

In Idwals harsh cauldron, Cidwm by my side
stripped of all dignity, respect, and pride
revealed to all in naked shame and humiliation
life on trial, no chance of explanation
judged, taken down into Idwals pool ostracised into the dark waters
chastised and there, sinking slow beneath the surface
concentric ripples, calligraphic, cursive
the dark waters write nothing of who I once was
a life erased in regret and loss

Beneath the dylan black, coal black, death black depths – burdened no more by taking breaths
isolated, undone, seeping cold like rejection
absorbed by the dark, endless reflection
succumbing to the realisation of who I really am

And who am I to you now?
after all has been said
and all has been done
just a necessary evil
another no one

DSC June 2019